I was robbed.

Not only was today Mother's day but today was my due date for Baby E.

I'm bitter. Real bitter. The kind of bitter that gives you a sour taste in your mouth.

I know that God has a plan for D and I but I feel robbed. The loss of our child consumed me this afternoon. I wanted to scream but that wasn't an option D was doing homework. Instead I slept the afternoon away with the help of my pain medicine from Friday's surgery. It worked as a good coping mechanism.

Now that I'm awake---I again feel like someone stole something from me that I may never be able to experience.

It's the saddest feeling to have on this day of all days.

Tonight I'll go to bed knowing that I am a mother. a sad mother.

Oh, wait. I have Wallace that acts like a four year old. He takes on the best role of our child. He is our child! A fantastic boy at that. He wakes me up at 2am to go out. With him here it makes the feeling a little better. I can't help but think it's just not the same.