"She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. 

And that's important."

#truth

#Truth

The hope that my life is moving in a positive direction.  Thank you MK for this beautiful of a picture to continually give the hope I need!

xoxo,

History of Us

This guy entered my life and swept me literally off my feet.  He brought a smile to my face like no other. He was the perfect mix of spunk and safety that I needed most in my life. While we so different we were so alike.  We shared a passion of pinstripes, hot dogs and cracker jacks.  We both loved the smell of Vermont in the fall, apples and cheddar cheese plates late at night while watching The Shield.  We both wanted the same things in life at that time.  He quickly became my best friend, my family, my life...

In September of 2006, this guy asked me to be his wife all while sharing that favorite past time of watching our boys in the Bronx play some seriously amazing ball. 

Of course, I said "YES"

One year later, this same day September 1, 2007 we pledged our love to each other all while surrounded by our closest family and friends.  

In November 2007, we experienced one of our greatest loses. We consoled and grieved with one another as we both lost one of our favorite people that day. 

And again 9/15/2008 we suffered another great loss, our baby. The baby we both prayed for and wanted with every ounce of our being. I'm quite sure we both lost another piece of our hearts the day this happened. It was too close to not having dad with us any longer. 

July 9, 2009 we bought our little gem at the end of Elm Street.

December 17, 2009 we said, "See you at the bridge sweet boy".  Our first "child" had lost his fight with cancer and we were forced to put him to rest. 

With that loss came joy, we welcomed a new baby boy into our hearts.

Jaxson Gromit Etli arrived at the 230 HQ.

And a princess, Princess Gemma Jam in 2011!

In 2012, our worlds changed

We decided to take a plunge of a life time

Our family was moving across the country

2600 miles

No family--No friends

Just each other

You moved first

27 flights and 16 airports later

A new house  and Estelle was purchased to welcome our family to the Silver State

Tears were shed and goodbyes were spoken when I left my job at the credit union. 

Then it was time to reunite our family and move me those 2600 miles. 

So we packed our little humble abode into this box truck

We made a glorious trip out of our adventure across the nation. 

I unpacked, I settled, I made us a home. 

And it was then that our lives would be so different

It was then that I realized we had grown apart

It was then that I made the choice to go home because I simply wasn't happy with myself or you

I didn't know you and you didn't know me

I was stranger in my own home

The place that was supposed to open up a million opportunities instead opened up a can of demons

After getting my head on straight  and cutting all ties to said demons

I came back and life was amazing

We shared

We focused

We loved

We together started focusing on being better individuals to be a better couple

We were always the "power" couple

Our friends looked up to us or hated us or were jealous of us 

We were a couple of "DINKS"

Dual Income No Kids

You were accepted in the Doctorates of Nursing program 

I was never so proud of you

You are brilliant

You are charismatic

You are loving

I applied and was accepted to nursing school.

Hannah Elizabeth, future RN

You were so proud of me

You made me proud of myself

I was finally following my dreams and making things happen

I was finally happy

FINALLY

My third quarter started and I began to really focus on myself and school

Perhaps too much

which is okay

Life really changed in May

 Our story has taught me so much

I've learned how to love unconditionally

I've learned what happiness is

I've learned the depths of sadness

I've learned just how ugly my own mind can be at times

I've learned every one of my emotions

I've learned the true meaning of love

Love is 

loving one more than yourself

 forgiving

being the bigger person

saying sorry

being a friend

supporting the other person 

accepting that you can't force a change

refusing to walk away

&

so many other things

So with that you moved out a week ago.

You left our humble abode to venture out into the world on your own and face your own demons, alone

I have decided to face my own demons

&

follow my own dreams

1. Focusing on being physically fit

2. Keeping this smile on my face

3. Remaining humble while spunky

4. Becoming the best damn RN you ever did see

So while September 1, 2007 may be our wedding date 

&

 today September 1, 2014 may be our seven year anniversary. 

It is anything but our day today. 

However--all of this was your choice....

And today is mine

Today I'm left with a broken teacup

a half bottle of whiskey

but I'm picking up the pieces

I'm slowly gluing my life back together

Today is me recommitting my life to me

My happiness, my joy, my spirit

I deserve this

In the end it will make me a better me

#betterdaysareahead #happiestoftimestocome

And because....

this will forever be my comforting song when days are sad

just like Grandma Jewett sang to me

xoxo,